So, You get the idea of my postpartum emotions. Here's a look into my personal thoughts leading up to the event, gleaned from my desktop.
That's where the contents of my brain is pretty much kept these days.
1/10/97
I'm such a bastard, I even tried to worm out of the dinner date with Barb
and her family ("honey, why do we *both* have to go out with them?")
Oh well, next time Rob's in town. Maybe we'll go to the Rodin or see the
Art Museum.
Its an exercise of self control sometimes to remember the happiness you
sharewith the one you love as opposed to indulging in selfish fun. Don't
take what I'm saying the wrong way, you're not gonna stop having a personality
when you get married or have kids. Any good commitment is more like adding
and changing; not subtracting from what you are.
1/10/97
Barb is Protestant, but she said religion is totally my bag. So I'm probably
going Methodist. Which is ironic, because my Mother and Robert are now both
catholic. Mom's been a churchgoer since she started working @ ST. Thomas
and Robert's been going to school there regularly.
1/15/97
Wife and I went to the OB last night to check out how everything is going.Heard
the baby's heartbeat for the 1st time. Very cool sound. Of course I did
cartwheels when the doctor left the room. The wife is doing well, we're
almost at the 1/2 way mark. No weird cravings, but she's had the oddestlatenight
feeding hours.
1/17/97
My street savvy urban bastard attitude fell like a house of cards last night.
I'm walking on South St. after takin' Barb to dinner and this cute little
girl, with red cheeks asks me if I'd like to by some Girl Scout cookies.
After getting all weepy-eyed from visions of your kid proudly sporting her
brownie uniform, I bought two boxes. My wife said to me I was an easy touch.
2/5/97
Well, we haven't had to do any clam runs which is a good thing. Barb is
eating healthier than ever, just at odd times. Once she got out of class
early to get home and eat a bowl of cereal. When she sits down to eat dinner,
she'll die because she's soooo hungry, eat two bites and scream she's stuffed!
But at midnight she'll be starved. maybe 1AM... 2AM....
2/6/97
Wife is getting a little bigger. We're not sure, but we think that we have
a boy. Kid was real uncooperative during the ultra sounds. I guess if I
was in a warn comfortable place and someone tried to probe me I wouldn't
be too happy about it either.
3/20/97
It's amazing hear a friend go
through these things. I remember when Ben Shuman got married and I was
really freaked out. I was too young to have friends getting married. With
you, it's different: it's more like - I
don't have the kinds of friends who have babies. Well, clearly the
problem is my perception of myself and not of my friends...
Just remember that little kids
are like a great big coloring book. You choose their clothes and their
hairstyles, etc. I really wished I had
been around my brother more cuz I would bought him baby Docs and Chucks
and played him Peter Tosh records when he was 4... On the other hand,
your own kid is a different story. With me, I feel kind of snarky trying
to influence my brother. If it was my kid, I guess it would matter more.
I guess I'm not making much sense
here. Just really trying to say I'm
proud of you for being capable of handling this crazy ride. I know I
couldn't...
-Ian-
From: Tyler
To: Booker, Robert S (STP)
Subject: Re: what's up?
Date: Tuesday, May 27, 1997 4:14PM
Now the sweating starts.
As of Saturday, my wife has one more
month to go. This hit me like ice
water on a hot Summer day. I came into work today, and found out that the
wife of a friend of mine here at work gave birth this morning. Her
original due date was 2 weeks apart from my wife's!
Early. I don't want to even think about early. I don't smoke, but I've been chewing gum like a fiend. It's not necessarily fear; more like that anxiety you feel at the top of the Scream Machine. You know, when your car just reaches the peak and you feel the gentle touch of the wind as it begins to accelerate
AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
5/28/97
AH, don't worry, save the stress for afterwards when you don't get to sleep for two months. I was just visiting my friend Denise whose baby is one month old. She looks pretty rough.
The baby has her well trained
already. That swing stops swinging and she starts fretting and the nearest
adult cranks it up.
----------
6/9/97
Barbre is doing well. She's a very independent woman, so it feels kind of odd when she asks me for help for simple things, like shoelaces. Or picking up boxes. Picking up ANYTHING. Very minor incidences of hormone induced rages or feeding frenzies. Actually, she's eating healthier than she ever has. Except for the odd hours. There have been evenings when, in the dim florescent light of our kitchen, in the darkest hours of night, I've seen her body huddled over a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk.
And she radiates with life.
She has the stereotypical "glow" that I never believed really happens. That "glow" melted both sides of the family into anxious grandparents-to-be. Plus I love watching the baby do the alien thing. My wife's belly starts to shift and move with its own life.
P.S.
Speaking of lively, do you remember
Robert? Once known as R. Alton Barr,
for years now known as Robert B. Mumford? He'll be ten as of Oct. this year.
Author: Tyler Mumford at NBS
Date: 6/10/97 10:45 AM
Priority: Normal
TO: Len Cloud
Subject: going to be leaving soon...
------------------------- Message Contents--------------------------
...so I wanted to let you know exactly which days I will be out of
the office. My last day will be on the 25th. I will be back in the office
working, on the 24th of July. From the June 26th to July 15th I will be
exhausting my vacation time. From the 16th to the 23rd I'll be "officially"
working at home.
Of course for the duration I'll be coming up on Thursdays to collect
my salary, picking up projects and dropping off projects. Sue Duffy
has my telephone # and we'll be meeting to plan a schedule. Mary Ellen
already has my # (I speak from experience), so going back and forth won't
be a problem for the upcoming PowerPoint presentations.
Tara mentioned that Carol of HR wanted some official notice on paper
concerning the time off. I already mentioned this to Mike who said he
would follow up on this. The only question I have is this; would it be
possible to start working at home a little earlier than planned if I'm
needed at home sooner than expected? Please let me know, and please
tell me if I have to sign anything.
By the way, You and Mike are great guys. It means a lot to me to be
home during this time. Thank you for making this possible.
Home: (609) 310-1768
Cell: (609) 706-1324